Today is my sister’s birthday and I wanted to pay tribute to the one time a year we get together and make a meal for her family and our mom. Christmas breakfast has never seen this level of culinary dysfunction.
- 2004 feels like a long time ago, but if I’m correct, we spent the morning at our mom’s home. Still in the Christmas spirit, I woke my nephews up at 4:00am shouting “It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, get up!” Cooking duties were given to our mom and stepfather. It’s not that they did a bad job, but we decided that in the future we would cook breakfast and let mom just enjoy the morning.
- My sister would not make mention of this until later, but apparently it has become a tradition for me to wear an argyle sweater to cook Christmas breakfast. 2005 started this tradition and my sister has photographic proof. I do remember, however, not wearing an apron which resulted in bacon grease splattering all over the front and getting maple syrup on my sleeves.
- In 2006, I managed to coax my nephew into cooking scrambled eggs with me. His attention held out for all of 15 seconds and bailed when he realized cooking eggs meant he had to concentrate on something other than the Xbox. Not realizing his absence, our scrambled eggs quickly turned into the worst omelette ever with the outside crispy, and the inside raw.
- In 2007, we managed to blow out every fuse in the kitchen by running far too many appliances off of one outlet. We didn’t think the waffle iron, toaster, coffee maker, and hot tub would overload the circuit. I believe this is also the last year that someone (and I won’t name who, but you know who you are) sprayed canned whipped cream directly into their mouth.
- In 2008, we decided that I would cook things, and my sister would warm things up. This division of labor stuck. She also bought a Keurig coffee maker this year which was definately an improvement over having to make 9 different types of coffee, tea, and hot chocolate for breakfast. Fresh sausage was replaced with the Brown and Serve kind, but the bacon lived on. We cooked it in the oven this year and were delighted to find for once, we didn’t burn half the pork while leaving the rest raw.
- In 2009, I realized finally what was missing from my sisters kitchen. I had bought a second 14″ non stick skillet as a back up in my own kitchen and decided to bring this to help the process. The pan is still nestled in her cupboards awaiting years to come, but my guess is she hasn’t used it since. We started cooking things around the house and plugged the coffee maker in the living room, and I somehow remember something getting plugged into one of the kid’s rooms.
- In 2010, we got smart and decided to use Eggo waffles in place of homemade because quite frankly we just didn’t have it in us to have a repeat of the years past and her circuit breakers still couldn’t manage. It was a good meal. Yes, the argyle lives on. This was also the year we stayed up all night after Thanksgiving to go shopping on Black Friday. As a gift, my sister gave me a can of Red Bull (still in my pantry waiting for Friday, November 25).
Thanks for the memories sis. I look upon then fondly. Happy Birthday!